It has been a long and winding road (well not that long, and only sort of winding), but I have come to the conclusion that security and freedom are two very different things. In fact, they are mutually exclusive. I found that as in my younger years I was closer to my parents way of thinking, go to school, get a job with benefits, then retire after 30+ years.
Um? WTF? My father is still at fortune 50 company, going in the same door day after day for 34 years. Now I really can't blame him, for that was what he was trained to do, and I cannot knock him for doing it because it provided me with a good childhood. However, I think I realized a long time ago I wanted to own my own business (I used to dream of owning a grocery store for some reason), but I allowed FUD (fear, uncertainty, and doubt) muddle me. It crept in and stole my time (and time is gold). I also bought into the new "American dream" of debt, mortgage, marriage, kids, job with benefits, and 3 weeks vacation a year that made jumping ship just that much harder. Some where around the dot com boom I started getting antzy, but not a big baller to go out on my own.
Now, I don't have it that bad in my job. I work from home, on proof of concept for 3d MMOC. I am paid ok. However, the number of hours I put in don't equate. The fact they act like they "own my mind" really bothers me. Also, I know I can be replaced by a global resource that I cannot compete with monetarily (that I may have to train). If I have the risks, I might as well get the rewards. I have come to realize I don't want to climb the corporate ladder (I never did, I am too non conformist as it was, going down this path was good for experience, but the experience is almost a fine line to a waste of time).
No, I don't want to be an employee, and lately in my new position I realize I don't know if I want to be the manager either. I want to be the owner. I want to own the corporate ladder. Granted, I know I will have to be a manager for a bit as I build a new company.
Oh wait, did I mention that? I am building a company. But what will I build? No clue at this point (well that is sort of a lie, but I won't revel it just yet). I have decided it is time to SOGOTP (Sh!t Or Get Off The Pot). No I am bootstrapping, and the hardest part is to find the time for everything (starting up a company, maintain a good standing at work, personal life, hobbies, and this blog :-) ). I believe with some newly acquired organization and relaxation skills, I will accomplish it all to the time when I "cut the strings".
It still amazes me that people want to be an employee. I have gotten into arguments with several friends that tell me I don't have it that bad and I maybe being foolish. So be it. It amazes me that I have not gotten something better going before this (but I keep trying and will do so until I do). To have that security, instead of the freedom. I know first hand it is hard to do, to let go, especially if you have responsibilities. However, I don't ask anyone to take care of me, but I also want all the rewards. And I will get them.
