Removing toxic, negative thoughts, people, and habits.

I am not sure how I figured it out, whether it was epiphany like a bolt of lightening or a slow realization like water wearing away at a rock, but I realized that I was overly negative about everything in the world. And being that negative was keeping me from getting what I wanted.

How negative was I? I would use self deprecation as way to connect with people. My favorite saying to the question, "How are you?" was "Fat and Ugly, but I get by." It would get a laugh, but I felt myself dying a little bit each time.

Really? Why would one do that? Probably lack of confidence, and self-esteem. I don't say that anymore. Why? Because it was extremely negative to myself. I don't want to be negative. So why do it? I decided that I wouldn't any more. However habits and behaviors are hard to break.

Breaking a behavior is incredibly hard. Especially once you realize you are doing, you start to have this meta-cognitive thing going (thinking about your thinking). You start to see where you do it and when other people do it. If you "slip" and fall into the habit, you feel a bit bad. If it's being negative that's the bad habit, it can become a self fulfilling prophecy. And once you get yourself better at not being negative, then the harderst part is dealing with your emotions when you see or hear people you associate with being negative, or dwelling.

So what do you do? You remove the toxic, negative elements out of your life. I work on myself first. And I work on myself last. After all, you cannot change other people. All you can do is suggest, be the "guide by side".

Do know, your friends and family may not like the suggestion they are being negative. So work on yourself. As for people that won't change from being overly negative, remove them from your life. They become misery vampires. You can only work on yourself.

Sounds simple, right? It is really. Its got trials and tribulations, and you just need to deal with them in a productive fashion. Try to set a positive system for each negative habit you have. Set a positive system of counter suggestions to other people's negative habits (or remove or limit your interaction with them).

Some things that help are mindfulness, meditation, self development, and Emotional Intelligence (written before here).

Good luck.

Jeffreystune

Getting started for the ADD / ADHD mind using only strategies

Getting started. It's hard for someone with ADHD / ADD to do. If the task is not novel, interesting to them, or fun, the sheer will power to get started is ENORMOUS. Or as my 4 year old son says, "GINORMOUS"

And as anyone that knows me, knows I have mild ADD. Really, the schools suspected it when I was a kid and I finally was tested as an adult around 37.

That said, I cannot take any of the medications. NONE - the non stimulates give wicked headaches and I cannot take the stimulates because of a rapid heart rate.

That leaves me with strategies when I don't have the luxury of the task I need to do being "novel, interesting, or fun" (NIF).  So that being said, these are the strategies I have found that work the best for me:

• Journal Entry to clear my Brain. Stream of consciousness writing if I cannot start tasks - it clears my mind. It's just want I am thinking, affirmations, and gratitudes.
• Breaking down the task or project into smaller components. Then prioritizing the smallest/easiest task first to gain momentum. If I find I don't get momentum, repeating the process again. And again. I use a todo list in a Google Drive Doc Spreadsheet. I have 3 sheets in the document: 
• one for my "right now list" that I only put 5 tasks at a pop, 
• one for my giant list (of things I will eventually get to), 
• and one for my week planning.
• Meditation to slow down my brain - YMMV, but I find it stops the racing thoughts.
• Planning a reward after the each task that matches the tasks weight. If folding clothes is the task, then the reward might be watching a TED talk.
• Using Idonethis.com I can put what I have done and it gives a sense of accomplishment.

Note: I have been looking at gamification to make the tasks fun (a spin on the reward tip), but I have found entering all the tasks into whatever system I am using "distracts me" and I lose momentum. Some you can try are SuperBetter and HabitRPG.

Let me know how you fair with the tips or the gamification.

Jeffrey

Lifestyle Entrepreneur-ing at Kinetic Thoughts

This post is about some of my journey to become a life style entrepreneur at Kinetic Thoughts LLC (my company that focused on technology).

I was told early on, that my company had no focus and people could not figure out what it was doing. I was miffed and kept struggling on. It turns out they were right. I should have read the book E-myth sooner. I tried writing software for hire, but I couldn't sell the service to the customers I identified as my possible market. Then I tried selling web design services, and found the market was saturated with low ballers for the limited design skills I had, or I was brow beaten into low ball prices.

So I finally shifted gears for Kinetic Thoughts. We no longer focus on building software for hire, or doing websites. We turn people with ideas into technology entrepreneurs! It's a great gig, because it allows us to be on the revenue generating side of the equation, instead of the cost saving (or worse overhead) side of the equation. Having done several projects to help start up the tech of some Startups, I was able to correctly identify our target customer and what channels to reach them. We have also been experimenting and learning about how Start up's operate and are created. I would like to learn more about new venture creation, as well as equity bias, and other things we were not taught in the MBA.

I have also added the strategy of harvesting assets from each project that can be reused, resold on their own, or given away to build good will/ reputation within the technology community. I hope one day to create a repository of products that generate passive income for Kinetic Thoughts and our partners that contribute to each asset.

That said, one of the things most entrepreneurs do is keep a journal. I keep one in a Google Doc (so I can access it from any one of my computers or devices). It works well enough.

However I have been considering building an application centered around the Google Document that accounts for journal activities, such as dates, formatting, reminders if you forgot an entry, table of contents, etc. Think like a blog, but personal and can be exported to a PDF, Word Document, CSV, etc. Perhaps I will build an MVP (Minimum Viable Product in Lean Startup Speak - LSS) and release it for free with a survey of "wanted features" to test the waters. If the response is favorable, and based on the features selected, I will add them for a premium version.

My own little asset to fit a need.

Jeffrey