During our time at Bowman's Beach on Sanibel Island, FL we observed a pretty 20 something, Asian looking women holding hands with a 60 something Caucasian man. A person in my group says, "mail order Philippino bride".
I have heard of such things, but always thought they were some late night talk show host joke. However, I recently had a friend that more or less met his Philippino girl friend via an internet site promising such things. Such is life, always stranger than fiction.
Back to our our sketch story. As the couple (whom appeared to be very much enjoying the sun, sand, and surf) walked by, all in my little tribe laughed to see the Cialis beach bag he was carrying. :)
~Jeffrey
Monday, December 29, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Lovers Key State Park Kayaking
This post is a second part (and another fantastic day) at Lover's Key State Park.
This time we took out our Ocean Kayaks (Frenzy's)
We went with my parents, my bride, my sister, and brother-in-law.
The Lovers Key state park once was once slotted for development. It is so named because only "lovers" would row out to the key. Luckily after the canals were cut, the state ended up with it as a park.
My Mom doing an action shot.
Dad and Sis
My bride and brother-in-law paddling around
My lovely Bride
Sis did not want her photo taken
Here is mom!
Sis again trying to be a kayaker
Pop does NOT like his picture taken
Me about to fall out of the kayak
Dad and I going around the bend
Hello world, my hair looks so swell.
Hotdogs and kayaking, oh yeah
This time we took out our Ocean Kayaks (Frenzy's)
We went with my parents, my bride, my sister, and brother-in-law.
The Lovers Key state park once was once slotted for development. It is so named because only "lovers" would row out to the key. Luckily after the canals were cut, the state ended up with it as a park.
My Mom doing an action shot.
Dad and Sis
My bride and brother-in-law paddling around
My lovely Bride
Sis did not want her photo taken
Here is mom!
Sis again trying to be a kayaker
Pop does NOT like his picture taken
Me about to fall out of the kayak
Dad and I going around the bend
Hello world, my hair looks so swell.
Hotdogs and kayaking, oh yeah
Monday, December 22, 2008
Lovers Key State Park Trails
This past Sunday my bride and my parents went to Lover's Key State Park for some recreation and relaxation. It was, in a word, fantastic. It is one of my favorite beaches and state parks. In fact, I liked it so much, I have bought an annual state park pass (and the passes are a bargain for the number of parks in the state).
That said, this is first photo essay in awhile and the first time I have used Piscasa to host the pictures.
The trails are also great for mountain biking. I have tried to identify most of the plants in the pictures, some of which I have recently planted around my home (and all are Florida natives).
That said, enjoy!
~Jeffrey
That said, this is first photo essay in awhile and the first time I have used Piscasa to host the pictures.
The trails are also great for mountain biking. I have tried to identify most of the plants in the pictures, some of which I have recently planted around my home (and all are Florida natives).
That said, enjoy!
~Jeffrey
Friday, December 19, 2008
Einstein's refridgerator and hot water solar panels
Ok, my physics is not that strong any longer (it has been 10 years since the class). However, I sort of understand the basic principles of refrigeration. That said, does anyone think it is possible to combine the solar hot water panels (we use them a lot to heat pools and now hot water tanks) as the heat source and combine with Einstein's refrigerator for cooling a household.
Links:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solar_hot_water
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Einstein_refrigerator
I think it is do-able, if not as a replacement, but possible as a supplement to the air conditioner. Thing is, the temperature here is not the only culprit, but the humidity (removing it). This is the same reason why "gator coolers" in the west work well to make you feel comfortable in the dry climates.
Thoughts? Please comment, I would like to have a discussion on this. As for way to make money, there are a myriad of ways. Services to the install or retrofitting of existing panels and unit, to the manufacture of the refrigerators (I think the patent as run out), as well as tertiary products (couplings, butane gas containers for it, etc).
I think this would be great for areas with high sun (Florida, Texas, California) as well as developing countries.
Links:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solar_hot_water
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Einstein_refrigerator
I think it is do-able, if not as a replacement, but possible as a supplement to the air conditioner. Thing is, the temperature here is not the only culprit, but the humidity (removing it). This is the same reason why "gator coolers" in the west work well to make you feel comfortable in the dry climates.
Thoughts? Please comment, I would like to have a discussion on this. As for way to make money, there are a myriad of ways. Services to the install or retrofitting of existing panels and unit, to the manufacture of the refrigerators (I think the patent as run out), as well as tertiary products (couplings, butane gas containers for it, etc).
I think this would be great for areas with high sun (Florida, Texas, California) as well as developing countries.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
A Wizard of EI Came A Calling (a short story about Emotional Intelligence)
Here is a short story I did for school about Emotional Intelligence.
A Wizard of EI Came A Calling
(A short story)
Jeffrey Abbott
CRS 580 – Creativity Measurements
State University of New York @ Buffalo State
An ordinary office, on an ordinary day, we see a man having a phone conversation with a friend and colleague. This man is not having a good day, week, month, or year of the job. He is not satisfied with his lot in life. He thinks, just if things could be better for him, if people would just give him a chance, that they are holding him back. Listen as we eavesdrop on the current conversation as it unfolds.
“I tell you, Reeves, Mike has it out for me! Everything I do, he has to come off with something I can do better. For once, I would like to know I am doing a good job. After this last presentation, I was about to walk out the door. All I can say is this; they better get my pay up around six figures. After hearing what the director makes, I want to know what he does that he makes 3 times my salary, God Damn it.”
“I don’t know Chris, the way the economy is going, you probably should be thankful you have a job. Besides, I don’t see how your job is all that bad. I mean, what is so bad about it.”
“I could go on for days. Why does my boss constantly correct me? Am I doing that bad of a job? It just sucks. This is almost as bad as when I was in services, they always were squeezing you to do more with less. People there, I understood why they were fearful. They would ask you to work extra hours, but say ‘don’t charge it to the customer’. Then every time we had an all hands meeting, their pitch was how bad the market was and nothing was there for bonuses. It was complete crap.”
“Well you aren’t there now, so why dwell on it? How are things with your new boss?”
“Well, besides the criticism on the last presentation? I don’t know. I have a one on one meeting this Thursday with him. I bet he has some bad news for me about my review. I talked to Dave the other day about his, and he said to not to expect too much. Dave said this department can suck like services did.”
“Alright Chris, I really got to run, the wife and kids made me a special dinner tonight. I might be online from home, later this evening. Talk to you soon.”
Just at this moment Chris’s computer blinks that he has an incoming email message, “Alright man, anyway it is what it is. I will be looking outside if stuff doesn’t change. I will let you be, I just got a late email. I probably will have to be here to clean up someone’s mess. Talk to you soon. Bye.”
Chris hangs up the phone and opens his email. In the email there is the just the subject of “Hello” and a single link to a website within the company intranet. Looking at the “From” line, he sees it is from someone within the company domain, but not someone he knows.
“I bet it is spam” he says, as he clicks the link. His video player begins to load and caches a movie. He is about to close the window when a wizened old man with a purple suit and green pointed hat pops into the video, and says “Chris, wait. Don’t close this video just yet. I have something to show that may change your life!”
Thinking it is one of his colleagues, he looks around. Being after 6:30 PM, most have gone home for the evening. He is about to click on the close button and the old may says, “Now darn it, I said don’t close that window. Don’t you want to know how to make your job more productive and you feel good about doing it?”
“Alright guys, where is the camera? Can you hear me as well? This joke is not funny!”
“This is no joke Chris. I have something to tell you. You have a lot of potential and have a lot of intellect, but you let yourself be hijacked by your emotions. I can help you with that. Now just listen. Can you listen for 5 minutes?”
“Ok, I will humor you for now. But when I find you, I am calling HR. As a practical jokes go, you have too much time on your hands. I thought this was a place of business. How does anyone have time to do stuff outside of work?”
“OK then” In a puff a smoke, the old man is standing next to Chris.
Chris is a little taken back and wide eyed asks, “How the hell did you do that? This is…”
“Now just hold on a minute. I said listen. I want to show you how you handled your situation today with your boss after your presentation from a different perspective. Your perspective is what is getting in the way of your success. You are intelligent, and hard working, however, your emotion controls you, in such a way that thwarts your progress. Have you ever heard of Emotional Intelligence?”
“Not particularly. Listen, I don’t need some damn self-help nut-job with a flare for theatrics…”
BOOM!
Suddenly, a gag appeared over Chris mouth and he was tied to his chair.
“Now just wait a minute and listen. Are you ready to listen?”
“MRRRMM MRRRMM”
“Oh, sorry,” Pulling off the gag.
“WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!!?!”
BOOM!
And the gag appeared back on Chris’s mouth.
“Now I said listen, if you cannot, I will leave it in place. Are you ready to listen?”
Chris nods yes.
Removing the gag, the old man asks “Ok then. I know you don’t see what was going here, so I will introduce myself. I am an Emotional Intelligence Wizard. My goal is to help you raise your Emotional Intelligence Quotient. Unlike IQ, EIQ can be more valuable than brains. I know your IQ, it is 140. You are a bright fellow. Do you know your bosses IQ? Of course you don’t. It is actually 125. Lower than yours. I bet that rubs you the wrong way. You know why he does so much better than you? He has a lot more Emotional Intelligence. Thing is, you could be doing just as well for yourself if you listen to me and watch for certain behaviors in yourself. Are you ready to consider what I have to say?”
Looking at the old man like he grew three heads, Chris thought, “If I am crazy, listening won’t hurt to what the old man as to say.”
“Sure, I will listen to your pitch, go on.”
“Alright, a couple of things we should cover”
With a flick of his wrist, there appeared in front of the old man was an easel with some charts on it.
“OK, here I first have a diagram of your brain. In regards to emotional intelligence, you have three parts. The first part is the Neocortex and Cortex, or your logical brain. The next part is the Autonomic portion which controls breathing, heart rate, etc. Last, we have your Limbic brain. This is the part of the brain responsible for flight or fight and emotional scenarios. It is also the center of your emotional hijacking. Got it? Next chart.“
The wizard flicks his wrist again and the chart changes. However in looking at the chart, Chris sees it colored with what looks like crayon drawings of lions and clowns and elephants. Frowning, the wizard flicks his wrist and the chart shows:
The 5 Aspects of Emotional Intelligence: *
1. Mastery of purpose and vision – Ability to bring authenticity to my life and live out my values.
2. Self-awareness – Ability to fully understand myself and use that information to manage both positive and negative emotions productively.
3. Empathy – Ability to understand perspective of others.
4. Social Expertness – Ability to build genuine relationships and bonds and express caring, concern and conflict in healthy ways.
5. Personal Influence – Ability to positively lead and inspire others as well as myself.
“That is better, kids went to the circus last weekend, I guess they got into my charts. Moving on! As you can see in emotional intelligence, there are 5 aspects. Due to my limited time, I am going to focus on Self-awarness for you, since you seem to lack the most in it.”
“I think I am completely self-aware thank you!”
“Oh? Lets look back today at your presentation. Just watch your video on the screen”
The old man sits down to the PC and mutters to himself, “don’t you have the QuickTime plug-in installed. Alright, I will use the Windows Media Version, but man, upgrade your plug-ins.”
The video player finishes caching the video and a scene unfolds, one from earlier in the day with Chris just wrapping up a presentation to the director and a few customers.
As the director escorts the customers out, he turns to Chris’s boss and says “thanks for doing this Mike, Chris, great presentation.”
Chris exclaims, “Thanks you sir, I know I can do better next time. I will practice it more.”
Mike interrupts with a sideways glance at Chris, “Thanks Dave. Please, debrief me when after the customers leave?”
“You got it, talk to you soon.”
After the director leaves, Mike closes the door and looks at Mike and smiles. “Your presentation went well. I can see you have the potential to be very good at doing them and will only get better with practice. My only suggestion would be you come up with script for presentations you are going to give regularly or practice the ones you don’t give regularly before hand. All in all, you did a good job.”
“I am sorry sir. I know I could have done better. I have never been good at presentations or public speaking all my life. I get nervous. This was handed-off to me from Reeves two days ago. If he would have just given me some more notice.”
“No, you did fine. Don’t take it as rebuke, just some coaching”
“Well could you tell me what I did wrong?”
“You didn’t do anything wrong, just things could have been done a little differently that might have been more effective. Example, assume they know nothing of the product, so don’t slip into our company lingo unless you have to and explain it when you do. Don’t ever defend the product against something else without being asked about it.”
“I knew that, I guess I don’t know the product that well. I wish Reeves had not gone on vacation before this presentation. I think he should have some responsibility if they don’t purchase.”
At this point, the old man hits the pause button and looks at Chris, “You want to see how you could have better handled this? I am going to tell you anyway. There are 2 concepts I want to share with you. One is called Emotional Triggers. Emotional Triggers are situations that closely resemble a situation in your past that left an emotional memory in your Limbic brain where you either ran, or fought in the situation. This was good 10,000 years ago when a micro second could save you from sudden peril, but today in the business world, it usually leads to unwanted outcomes. This chart here shows you the triggers”
As the wizard waved his hand, the charts fluttered, but remained the same. Looking sheepish, he reaches out and changes the chart by hand.
“I guess I need to practice that one”
The chart on the easel now read:
Emotional Triggers:*
1. Mood
2. Mood and attitude of others
3. Prethinking / Foreshadowing
4. Rumination / Dwelling
5. Personality
6. Hot Words / Hot Buttons that make you angry
7. Perceived criticism
8. Illness / Physical conditions
9. Physical Environment
The wizard looks at Chris and asks, “So, based on these, do you know which triggers to which you succumbed?”
Chris looks at him and shakes no.
“Sigh, they never do. First you started with Perceived criticism, then you moved into Rumination and Dwelling, and then moved into Mood. Do you understand?”
“I think I am starting too.”
“Do you know how you can stop from doing this? First, you need to know where your triggers lie. Think back to the moments that lead up to your emotional hijacking. You exhibited multiple triggers, and usually this contributes to such a hijacking. To help you, here is a list of behaviors, known as the Dirty Dozen of Flawed Rational Thinking that people should be on the lookout for.”
This time, the old man didn’t even attempt to flick his wrist to change the chart, but changed it manually. The new chart contained:
Flawed Rational Thinking (Dirty Dozen):*
1. Needing Approval – “Everyone I work with must approve of me at all times”
2. Making Mistakes - “I must prove that I am thoroughly competent, adequate, and achieving at all times.”
3. Changing Others - “I have an obligation to change others who act unfairly or obnoxious.”
4. “Catastrophize” - “When I get very frustrated, treated unfairly, or rejected, I have to view things as awful, terrible, horrible,, and catastrophic.”
5. Others Cause Misery - “My emotional misery comes from external pressures that I have little ability to change.”
6. Worry, Fret, Fear - “If something seems dangerous or fearsome, I must preoccupy myself with it and make myself anxious abut it.”
7. Avoidance - “It’s easier to avoid facing difficulties and self-responsibilities than to do something about them.”
8. The Past - “My past remains all-important and, because something once strongly influenced my life, it has to keep determining my feelings and behavior today.”
9. Unrealistic Expectations - “People and things should turn out better than they do, and I must fix them.”
10. Competition - “My worth can be measured by competitive situations.”
11. Source of Problems - “The people and conditions in my life are the sources of my problems.”
12. Negativity - “Certain occurrences or events are negative by nature.”
The wizard, suddenly tired looking, stares head on at Chris and asks, “So, looking at this list, do you see any behaviors you demonstrated after the presentation? Also, think about the phone call you had with Reeves right before he left. Remember anything from it on this list?”
“Um, yes, now I think I do. I have a need for approval. I don’t like to make mistakes, I have unrealistic expectations sometimes, and I blame others for my problems… sigh”
“Yes, it is a hard realization that you maybe the locus of control for your own problems. Emotional Intelligence can help.”
“So what do I do next?”
“Ah! Good then. Go and get the book by Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence. Read it. Then begin to follow its steps. Cover the five aspects of Emotional Intelligence. Also, don’t worry, you will not change overnight. Sometimes you will fall off the wagon. Just remember you are changing long learned behaviors, so it will take a bit to change. You can make mistakes, and strive for excellence, not perfection. With that, I got to go, kids have soccer practice tonight.”
BOOM!
A blast of light, and the old man was gone, and all his props. Chris looks around a little bewildered and peers over the cube walls to see if anyone else is around. He hears the door open and sees the cleaning crew coming down the aisle way. Looking back at his computer screen, he sees the email is still there. He clicks on the link, but it just pops up the Amazon.com entry for Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence. He tries to send an email back, but it comes back as “MAILER-DAEMON Failed to Deliver Message”.
He sits back in a reflective posture and pauses. Then he clicks on the link again while getting his credit card out of his wallet.
*Note: Charts referenced in the short story are reproductions of charts in the slide decks covered under “C 2002. Adele B. Lynn All Rights Reserved.”
A Wizard of EI Came A Calling
(A short story)
Jeffrey Abbott
CRS 580 – Creativity Measurements
State University of New York @ Buffalo State
An ordinary office, on an ordinary day, we see a man having a phone conversation with a friend and colleague. This man is not having a good day, week, month, or year of the job. He is not satisfied with his lot in life. He thinks, just if things could be better for him, if people would just give him a chance, that they are holding him back. Listen as we eavesdrop on the current conversation as it unfolds.
“I tell you, Reeves, Mike has it out for me! Everything I do, he has to come off with something I can do better. For once, I would like to know I am doing a good job. After this last presentation, I was about to walk out the door. All I can say is this; they better get my pay up around six figures. After hearing what the director makes, I want to know what he does that he makes 3 times my salary, God Damn it.”
“I don’t know Chris, the way the economy is going, you probably should be thankful you have a job. Besides, I don’t see how your job is all that bad. I mean, what is so bad about it.”
“I could go on for days. Why does my boss constantly correct me? Am I doing that bad of a job? It just sucks. This is almost as bad as when I was in services, they always were squeezing you to do more with less. People there, I understood why they were fearful. They would ask you to work extra hours, but say ‘don’t charge it to the customer’. Then every time we had an all hands meeting, their pitch was how bad the market was and nothing was there for bonuses. It was complete crap.”
“Well you aren’t there now, so why dwell on it? How are things with your new boss?”
“Well, besides the criticism on the last presentation? I don’t know. I have a one on one meeting this Thursday with him. I bet he has some bad news for me about my review. I talked to Dave the other day about his, and he said to not to expect too much. Dave said this department can suck like services did.”
“Alright Chris, I really got to run, the wife and kids made me a special dinner tonight. I might be online from home, later this evening. Talk to you soon.”
Just at this moment Chris’s computer blinks that he has an incoming email message, “Alright man, anyway it is what it is. I will be looking outside if stuff doesn’t change. I will let you be, I just got a late email. I probably will have to be here to clean up someone’s mess. Talk to you soon. Bye.”
Chris hangs up the phone and opens his email. In the email there is the just the subject of “Hello” and a single link to a website within the company intranet. Looking at the “From” line, he sees it is from someone within the company domain, but not someone he knows.
“I bet it is spam” he says, as he clicks the link. His video player begins to load and caches a movie. He is about to close the window when a wizened old man with a purple suit and green pointed hat pops into the video, and says “Chris, wait. Don’t close this video just yet. I have something to show that may change your life!”
Thinking it is one of his colleagues, he looks around. Being after 6:30 PM, most have gone home for the evening. He is about to click on the close button and the old may says, “Now darn it, I said don’t close that window. Don’t you want to know how to make your job more productive and you feel good about doing it?”
“Alright guys, where is the camera? Can you hear me as well? This joke is not funny!”
“This is no joke Chris. I have something to tell you. You have a lot of potential and have a lot of intellect, but you let yourself be hijacked by your emotions. I can help you with that. Now just listen. Can you listen for 5 minutes?”
“Ok, I will humor you for now. But when I find you, I am calling HR. As a practical jokes go, you have too much time on your hands. I thought this was a place of business. How does anyone have time to do stuff outside of work?”
“OK then”
Chris is a little taken back and wide eyed asks, “How the hell did you do that? This is…”
“Now just hold on a minute. I said listen. I want to show you how you handled your situation today with your boss after your presentation from a different perspective. Your perspective is what is getting in the way of your success. You are intelligent, and hard working, however, your emotion controls you, in such a way that thwarts your progress. Have you ever heard of Emotional Intelligence?”
“Not particularly. Listen, I don’t need some damn self-help nut-job with a flare for theatrics…”
BOOM!
Suddenly, a gag appeared over Chris mouth and he was tied to his chair.
“Now just wait a minute and listen. Are you ready to listen?”
“MRRRMM MRRRMM”
“Oh, sorry,” Pulling off the gag.
“WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!!?!”
BOOM!
And the gag appeared back on Chris’s mouth.
“Now I said listen, if you cannot, I will leave it in place. Are you ready to listen?”
Chris nods yes.
Removing the gag, the old man asks “Ok then. I know you don’t see what was going here, so I will introduce myself. I am an Emotional Intelligence Wizard. My goal is to help you raise your Emotional Intelligence Quotient. Unlike IQ, EIQ can be more valuable than brains. I know your IQ, it is 140. You are a bright fellow. Do you know your bosses IQ? Of course you don’t. It is actually 125. Lower than yours. I bet that rubs you the wrong way. You know why he does so much better than you? He has a lot more Emotional Intelligence. Thing is, you could be doing just as well for yourself if you listen to me and watch for certain behaviors in yourself. Are you ready to consider what I have to say?”
Looking at the old man like he grew three heads, Chris thought, “If I am crazy, listening won’t hurt to what the old man as to say.”
“Sure, I will listen to your pitch, go on.”
“Alright, a couple of things we should cover”
With a flick of his wrist, there appeared in front of the old man was an easel with some charts on it.
“OK, here I first have a diagram of your brain. In regards to emotional intelligence, you have three parts. The first part is the Neocortex and Cortex, or your logical brain. The next part is the Autonomic portion which controls breathing, heart rate, etc. Last, we have your Limbic brain. This is the part of the brain responsible for flight or fight and emotional scenarios. It is also the center of your emotional hijacking. Got it? Next chart.“
The wizard flicks his wrist again and the chart changes. However in looking at the chart, Chris sees it colored with what looks like crayon drawings of lions and clowns and elephants. Frowning, the wizard flicks his wrist and the chart shows:
The 5 Aspects of Emotional Intelligence: *
1. Mastery of purpose and vision – Ability to bring authenticity to my life and live out my values.
2. Self-awareness – Ability to fully understand myself and use that information to manage both positive and negative emotions productively.
3. Empathy – Ability to understand perspective of others.
4. Social Expertness – Ability to build genuine relationships and bonds and express caring, concern and conflict in healthy ways.
5. Personal Influence – Ability to positively lead and inspire others as well as myself.
“That is better, kids went to the circus last weekend, I guess they got into my charts. Moving on! As you can see in emotional intelligence, there are 5 aspects. Due to my limited time, I am going to focus on Self-awarness for you, since you seem to lack the most in it.”
“I think I am completely self-aware thank you!”
“Oh? Lets look back today at your presentation. Just watch your video on the screen”
The old man sits down to the PC and mutters to himself, “don’t you have the QuickTime plug-in installed. Alright, I will use the Windows Media Version, but man, upgrade your plug-ins.”
The video player finishes caching the video and a scene unfolds, one from earlier in the day with Chris just wrapping up a presentation to the director and a few customers.
As the director escorts the customers out, he turns to Chris’s boss and says “thanks for doing this Mike, Chris, great presentation.”
Chris exclaims, “Thanks you sir, I know I can do better next time. I will practice it more.”
Mike interrupts with a sideways glance at Chris, “Thanks Dave. Please, debrief me when after the customers leave?”
“You got it, talk to you soon.”
After the director leaves, Mike closes the door and looks at Mike and smiles. “Your presentation went well. I can see you have the potential to be very good at doing them and will only get better with practice. My only suggestion would be you come up with script for presentations you are going to give regularly or practice the ones you don’t give regularly before hand. All in all, you did a good job.”
“I am sorry sir. I know I could have done better. I have never been good at presentations or public speaking all my life. I get nervous. This was handed-off to me from Reeves two days ago. If he would have just given me some more notice.”
“No, you did fine. Don’t take it as rebuke, just some coaching”
“Well could you tell me what I did wrong?”
“You didn’t do anything wrong, just things could have been done a little differently that might have been more effective. Example, assume they know nothing of the product, so don’t slip into our company lingo unless you have to and explain it when you do. Don’t ever defend the product against something else without being asked about it.”
“I knew that, I guess I don’t know the product that well. I wish Reeves had not gone on vacation before this presentation. I think he should have some responsibility if they don’t purchase.”
At this point, the old man hits the pause button and looks at Chris, “You want to see how you could have better handled this? I am going to tell you anyway. There are 2 concepts I want to share with you. One is called Emotional Triggers. Emotional Triggers are situations that closely resemble a situation in your past that left an emotional memory in your Limbic brain where you either ran, or fought in the situation. This was good 10,000 years ago when a micro second could save you from sudden peril, but today in the business world, it usually leads to unwanted outcomes. This chart here shows you the triggers”
As the wizard waved his hand, the charts fluttered, but remained the same. Looking sheepish, he reaches out and changes the chart by hand.
“I guess I need to practice that one”
The chart on the easel now read:
Emotional Triggers:*
1. Mood
2. Mood and attitude of others
3. Prethinking / Foreshadowing
4. Rumination / Dwelling
5. Personality
6. Hot Words / Hot Buttons that make you angry
7. Perceived criticism
8. Illness / Physical conditions
9. Physical Environment
The wizard looks at Chris and asks, “So, based on these, do you know which triggers to which you succumbed?”
Chris looks at him and shakes no.
“Sigh, they never do. First you started with Perceived criticism, then you moved into Rumination and Dwelling, and then moved into Mood. Do you understand?”
“I think I am starting too.”
“Do you know how you can stop from doing this? First, you need to know where your triggers lie. Think back to the moments that lead up to your emotional hijacking. You exhibited multiple triggers, and usually this contributes to such a hijacking. To help you, here is a list of behaviors, known as the Dirty Dozen of Flawed Rational Thinking that people should be on the lookout for.”
This time, the old man didn’t even attempt to flick his wrist to change the chart, but changed it manually. The new chart contained:
Flawed Rational Thinking (Dirty Dozen):*
1. Needing Approval – “Everyone I work with must approve of me at all times”
2. Making Mistakes - “I must prove that I am thoroughly competent, adequate, and achieving at all times.”
3. Changing Others - “I have an obligation to change others who act unfairly or obnoxious.”
4. “Catastrophize” - “When I get very frustrated, treated unfairly, or rejected, I have to view things as awful, terrible, horrible,, and catastrophic.”
5. Others Cause Misery - “My emotional misery comes from external pressures that I have little ability to change.”
6. Worry, Fret, Fear - “If something seems dangerous or fearsome, I must preoccupy myself with it and make myself anxious abut it.”
7. Avoidance - “It’s easier to avoid facing difficulties and self-responsibilities than to do something about them.”
8. The Past - “My past remains all-important and, because something once strongly influenced my life, it has to keep determining my feelings and behavior today.”
9. Unrealistic Expectations - “People and things should turn out better than they do, and I must fix them.”
10. Competition - “My worth can be measured by competitive situations.”
11. Source of Problems - “The people and conditions in my life are the sources of my problems.”
12. Negativity - “Certain occurrences or events are negative by nature.”
The wizard, suddenly tired looking, stares head on at Chris and asks, “So, looking at this list, do you see any behaviors you demonstrated after the presentation? Also, think about the phone call you had with Reeves right before he left. Remember anything from it on this list?”
“Um, yes, now I think I do. I have a need for approval. I don’t like to make mistakes, I have unrealistic expectations sometimes, and I blame others for my problems… sigh”
“Yes, it is a hard realization that you maybe the locus of control for your own problems. Emotional Intelligence can help.”
“So what do I do next?”
“Ah! Good then. Go and get the book by Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence. Read it. Then begin to follow its steps. Cover the five aspects of Emotional Intelligence. Also, don’t worry, you will not change overnight. Sometimes you will fall off the wagon. Just remember you are changing long learned behaviors, so it will take a bit to change. You can make mistakes, and strive for excellence, not perfection. With that, I got to go, kids have soccer practice tonight.”
BOOM!
A blast of light, and the old man was gone, and all his props. Chris looks around a little bewildered and peers over the cube walls to see if anyone else is around. He hears the door open and sees the cleaning crew coming down the aisle way. Looking back at his computer screen, he sees the email is still there. He clicks on the link, but it just pops up the Amazon.com entry for Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence. He tries to send an email back, but it comes back as “MAILER-DAEMON Failed to Deliver Message”.
He sits back in a reflective posture and pauses. Then he clicks on the link again while getting his credit card out of his wallet.
*Note: Charts referenced in the short story are reproductions of charts in the slide decks covered under “C 2002. Adele B. Lynn All Rights Reserved.”
Friday, December 12, 2008
Musings of the different jobs I have had in my life
Damn, this list is not bad for someone 36 (or maybe it is) Usually I held multiple jobs simultaneously and I started working at 14:
Race track garbage clean up
Race track time ticket operator
race track food service
Amusement park ride operator
Hay bailer/farm hand
Kentucky fried chicken cook
Hoagie cook at Larosas
Shoes salesman at Kinney Shoes
Shoe stock boy at Kinney Shoes
Pizza cook at Angilos
Delivery driver at Angilos
Deli counter boy IGA
3rd shift clerk at Circle K convenience stores
3rd shift clerk at a mom and pop convenience stores
1st shift clerk at "Cecil's" convenience store
Drug store clerk at SuperX/RiteAid/CVS
Computer lab operator at Miami University
Computer mover for American Computer Resources
Computer programmer at Sarcom
Professional mover with North American VanLines
Owner of Kinetic thoughts custom programming
Owner of online high end audio webstore Imperii Audio
IBM Software engineer
Race track garbage clean up
Race track time ticket operator
race track food service
Amusement park ride operator
Hay bailer/farm hand
Kentucky fried chicken cook
Hoagie cook at Larosas
Shoes salesman at Kinney Shoes
Shoe stock boy at Kinney Shoes
Pizza cook at Angilos
Delivery driver at Angilos
Deli counter boy IGA
3rd shift clerk at Circle K convenience stores
3rd shift clerk at a mom and pop convenience stores
1st shift clerk at "Cecil's" convenience store
Drug store clerk at SuperX/RiteAid/CVS
Computer lab operator at Miami University
Computer mover for American Computer Resources
Computer programmer at Sarcom
Professional mover with North American VanLines
Owner of Kinetic thoughts custom programming
Owner of online high end audio webstore Imperii Audio
IBM Software engineer
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Things to really hate?
In perusing Facebook, I came across this video. I have to say I agree with the narrator. Check it out
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Quote from Questionable Content
I love the web comic Questionable Content
That said, this struck me as a darn funny quote from today's comic:
That said, this struck me as a darn funny quote from today's comic:
"Dude, most people would be perfectly happy with what you've got going on right now. You're like the guy who shits gold bricks complaining he doesn't also piss diamonds."
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Birthday fun - Night out in Downtown Fort Myers
The day was great. My bride and I, along with a good friend went to the Veranda, then to H2 and The Spirit of Bacchus for some after dinner dessert and drinks.
Though out of my normal price range, I recommend going to the Veranda for special occasions. I had an impressive veal chop, stuffed with Buffalo mozzarella. The wait staff was excellent. The setting was beautiful. I will say, the medium age is a little older than I am used too. But no worries, the piano guy kept everyone entertained.
H2, as always, was a fun time. Dana was our server and she was great! Call her "the wine lady". :) Harold even made me up Birthday wishes for my raspberry chocolate cake (I forget what it is called on the menu actually). Try the Flying Dog Ale or the Sierra Nevada Pale Ale on draft!
The Spirit of Bacchus is a great place. Charlie the bartender is always cordial and the atmosphere is pleasant. However, I was so full and relaxed from the dinner, wine, beer, and heat being on (it does get cool in SWFL ) I almost fell asleep on their comfy couches. I ended up with "couch hair" and decided it was time to call it a night.
We did attempt to walk off some of the dinner, and headed up to the Bar Association. However, they were closed at 11:30 on a Saturday. I am unsure if they just decided to shutter early, but there was a county notice to "stop work" on part of their building. I hope this bar doesn't leave, as it is a fun, casual place to hang out. So City of Fort Myers, get the last of the street-scaping finished!
All and all, it was great, low key birthday!
~Jeffrey
Though out of my normal price range, I recommend going to the Veranda for special occasions. I had an impressive veal chop, stuffed with Buffalo mozzarella. The wait staff was excellent. The setting was beautiful. I will say, the medium age is a little older than I am used too. But no worries, the piano guy kept everyone entertained.
H2, as always, was a fun time. Dana was our server and she was great! Call her "the wine lady". :) Harold even made me up Birthday wishes for my raspberry chocolate cake (I forget what it is called on the menu actually). Try the Flying Dog Ale or the Sierra Nevada Pale Ale on draft!
The Spirit of Bacchus is a great place. Charlie the bartender is always cordial and the atmosphere is pleasant. However, I was so full and relaxed from the dinner, wine, beer, and heat being on (it does get cool in SWFL ) I almost fell asleep on their comfy couches. I ended up with "couch hair" and decided it was time to call it a night.
We did attempt to walk off some of the dinner, and headed up to the Bar Association. However, they were closed at 11:30 on a Saturday. I am unsure if they just decided to shutter early, but there was a county notice to "stop work" on part of their building. I hope this bar doesn't leave, as it is a fun, casual place to hang out. So City of Fort Myers, get the last of the street-scaping finished!
All and all, it was great, low key birthday!
~Jeffrey
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Oh my
I was sent this from somebody that got it from somebody (which means someone was perusing the "casual encounters" of Craigslist.com) Now, I know everyone has their own brand of kink, but Harry Potter? Come on. Anyway, I have been told it was pulled so I am publishing a cached copy here for all to enjoy. Pretty disturbing.
~Jeffrey
~Jeffrey
Don't Let the Muggles Know! - w4mm - 30 (East Village)
Reply to: pers-941491075@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-12-02, 12:27AM ESTI am a lonely, beautiful woman living alone with my cat, Mrs. Norris. I work as a janitor. You will refer to me as Filch.PostingID: 941491075
I need at least 5 men. You will arrive at my apartment. There will be a picture of a fat lady on the door, and you will tell her the pre-arranged password. You will be dressed based on your character. The characters I need are listed below.
Harry Potter: You must be barely legal, and arrive with your firebolt ready for the best game of quidditch you'll ever play.
Ron Weasley: You absolutely must have red hair and freckles. You must show up with firewhiskey.
Draco Malfoy: Blonde. Be able to cry on demand.
Remus Lupin: You will alternate between wolf and man. Howl, baby, howl!
Albus Dumbledore: You must be a proud gay man ready to penetrate every other man present You must have a beard and wear a wizard's hat and half-moon spectacles.
As you arrive, I shall chain you to the walls of my apartment, which I will have converted into a dungeon. Mrs. Norris shall excite you all into the most aroused state you've ever experienced (I've trained her well, so don't worry--if she fails to tickle your pickle, though, I've got a few tricks up my sleeve--engorgio, anyone?).
After I punish you all for being out after curfew, and take a few house points, Harry will escape, grab me around the waist, and begin sodomizing me. With each stroke, he will yell out one of the wrongs I have committed against him (example: "and THIS is for helping Umbridge"). After we've both come harder than Hagrid in heat, Ron and Draco will escape.
Ron will beat Draco with a broomstick I'll provide. Then, he will penetrate the Slytherin with the Cleansweep, who will, at this point, be crying about how his dad's in Azkaban.
Lupin will escape as he "transforms" into a wolf. He forgot his wolfsbane potion tonight! He will have his way with whatever his wolfy instincts demand!
I will then pleasure Ron. With my dirty squib mouth.
Finally, Dumbledore will escape and exact his right as Headmaster of Hogwarts.
Then, firewhiskey all around!
Who knows what else the night will bring...
---
Please send pictures, preferably in costume. I'm a huge Harry Potter fan, and I've been haunted by this fantasy since PoA came out (the book, of course). Please please please help me to realize it!
Also, if you know any submissive small men, we might add a Dobby to the fun.
- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
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