My personal guide to an attitude shift

They say nothing in life is free except a little bad advice. That said, a friend of mine asked about my recent shift in thinking (I can tell you it is a direct influence from my recent schooling). That said, here are the highlights I gave to my buddy:

I suggest you get these books (get the audio books if you dislike to read and can listen in the car). Get them from the library so you don't have to spend as much money:

Preparatory Readings:

1. The Four Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferris
2. Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman (or as an alternative get the Working with Emotional Intelligence by the same author)
3. Getting things Done by David Allen
4. Why didn't I think of that by Roger Firestein
5. Tribes by Seth Godin
   

Consider these points

Be bigger than yourself. Start to look for something that is bigger than yourself. Have a purposeful life.

Use positive momentum. Start to use PPCo when someone approaches you with an idea (Praise first, Potential, Concerns, and then ways to overcome those concerns). There is nothing worse than using our training from System Analysis and going after the problems we see first to kill someone's innovative spirit. Try hard to get out of the corporate world mindset sometimes (or what I call the Midwest horse sense pattern of thought. It is good in context, but not always the best. Everything needs balance).

Be Self-Aware and don't let your perceptions rule you. Don't subscribe to the "dirty dozen" flawed ration thinking.
Flawed Rational Thinking (Dirty Dozen):*
1. Needing Approval – “Everyone I work with must approve of me at all times”
2. Making Mistakes - “I must prove that I am thoroughly competent, adequate, and achieving at all times.”
3. Changing Others - “I have an obligation to change others who act unfairly or obnoxious.”
4. “Catastrophize” - “When I get very frustrated, treated unfairly, or rejected, I have to view things as awful, terrible, horrible,, and catastrophic.”
5. Others Cause Misery - “My emotional misery comes from external pressures that I have little ability to change.”
6. Worry, Fret, Fear - “If something seems dangerous or fearsome, I must preoccupy myself with it and make myself anxious abut it.”
7. Avoidance - “It’s easier to avoid facing difficulties and self-responsibilities than to do something about them.”
8. The Past - “My past remains all-important and, because something once strongly influenced my life, it has to keep determining my feelings and behavior today.”
9. Unrealistic Expectations - “People and things should turn out better than they do, and I must fix them.”
10. Competition - “My worth can be measured by competitive situations.”
11. Source of Problems - “The people and conditions in my life are the sources of my problems.”
12. Negativity - “Certain occurrences or events are negative by nature.”

Find your prefences. Use measurements like Foursight to help you do this, there are others such as KAI, KEYS, etc. (Remember! these are not TESTS only measures of preference, you can work in all the areas, you just like to work in certain ones more).

Know you are human, and will make mistakes. However, don't use it as an excuse to be not responsible socially, fiscally, and most of all spiritually with your family and friends. It is all about balance. Get some Zen my friend. Learn not to care what others think, be not afraid, be outgoing, but be reserved at the same time. Balance, balance, balance. Strive for excellence, not perfection.

Maybe learn to meditate. Your mind is like a puppy learning to go on paper. That puppy is going to try to go everywhere including on the paper. You must pick it up and put it back on the paper to train it to use that area. Your mind needs to be picked up and put back so you can learn to clear all thoughts and just "be". It is harder than it sounds, as you want to think about everything and anything. However, you can do it with minimal practice.


Good luck!

~Jeffrey