Another Bobism

My buddy Bob has some of the most profound sense of humor. Think of the dry perverse humor of a Brit, combined with the cynism of a reformed Catholic (however Bob is very devoted to his faith and the Catholic church, no matter how much he pokes fun at them). I really enjoy Bob's company, but over the last few years, other than emails, I have not seen much of him. Anyway, here are a few recent "Bobism". I will link this post to Bob in an email. If you like them, comment and maybe we can get Bobo to do a blog of his own (and his humor and wit, I cannot match)!

"I take the scenic route home at night...
it makes for a pleasant drive...
it helps not to masturbate at the wheel...
I might not end up alive!"

"My new dishwasher is on the fritz,
and all the dishes are in the sink...
I'm having erections during Mass;
I think I need a drink!"

"I hope you enjoy the 4th. If you drink a 5th on the 4th, you can't go forth on the 5th!"